beboqueen:

“Hello,” she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.

nostopdasgay:

aww yiss. motherfuckin blossoms.

astreetcarnamedthetardis:

the best moment in literary history is by far the time in the odyssey when odysseus and his bros stab polyphemus the cyclops in his eye but he thinks odysseus’ name is “no one” so he thrashes about the cave screaming “NO ONE BLINDED ME!!!” and the other cyclopes are like “oh my god polyphemus SHUT UP”

lisabunnies:

You see the weirdest things at parks in LA. This guy was bench-pressing this goose for ten minutes. 
misscherry:

meowlingquimm:

butts-disease:

johnisdollywood:

I’m gonna throw my computer in the trash.

god
fucking
dammit

this is the gratest comic on the internet. you can all go home

this is so stupid why am I laughing

cogito ergo sum.

sinandserotonin:

descartes once said
I think therefore I am

but what exactly am I?

am I what I think I am?

  1. I think I am a terrible person.
  2. I think I am a withering tree.
  3. I think I am nineteen reasons
    to leave the earth to follow
    the destiny of its fault lines.

I think therefore I am
and I think I am
a dying star

so close
to becoming
something in its
silent supernova

and you will not
see the light until
years after I am gone.

I think I am a flower
that died in a wildfire
and was reincarnated
into a frame that did not fit—

I think that the skies
are never perfect
in their greys or
tides of blues.

maybe I am everything
that has ever lived
up until this point.

maybe I have always been this way.